Death Eater Dancers
by Charitable Millionaire
Summary: It's Hermione's hen night and Ginny takes her out. With a big surprise. You'll never guess who she hired! "You're the worst stripper I've ever seen! You should've been fired ages ago for mouthing off to the customers!" Warning: absolute nonsense. Complete for now but I will be adding more oneshots to this collection later, thanks everyone.
1. Draco 1

**Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling and do not own the copyright to Harry Potter. If I did, Antonin, Lucius, Snape, Draco and Scabior would all be strip dancers and dance in sparkling black thongs. Yup, good thing I don't own Harry Potter! But plot is mine and registered with the Ministry of Silly Walks ;)**

 **Death-Eater Strip Dancers**

 **Romance/Humour**

 **Rated T (review if you want M rated version!)**

 **Summary: It's Hermione's hen night and Ginny takes her out. With a big surprise. You'll never guess who she hired!**

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 **Part 1: The Dress**

"Hermione why aren't you more excited? Most brides are so excited they have tears in their eyes, but you look like you couldn't care less about what you wear!" Ginny droned on and on.

Hermione stared at her reflection in the mirror then at the red-head behind her.

"Maybe I don't," she snapped. Perhaps she was being a bit too short tempered but she was tired after hours of trying on dresses and acting like she cared which one she chose.

"You don't care what dress you wear on your wedding?" Ginny's mouth hung open, horrified. She immediately she began to ask Hermione a million questions as if she were suffering from a life or death ailment and Ginny were a healer trying to diagnose her.

Hermione just stared ahead at her reflection in the full-length mirror, pretending to be engrossed in admiring the details of the white dress. If she had to answer Ginny's intrusive questions while looking her in the eye, she might not be able to take it. She had never been a good liar.

Hermione stared at herself in the mirror.

She could barely recognize the elegant lithe woman in front of her. Though it was her own self staring back at her. In the dress she was supposed to wear on her wedding day to Ron.

They paid for the dress with the money her mother and aunt had saved up this occasion. And Hermione carefully concealed the bag, containing the expensive dress, into her rucksack. She felt like a thief carrying jewels that did not belong to her. Even though they had paid. It was an indecent ammount beyond her family's means.

As they walked through the cobbled streets of Diagon Alley, careful to watch their steps so that they did not trip on an uneven step, Ginny began to whine again and try to wheedle information out of her.

"C'mon Hermione," Ginny said, "You've barely said a word for hours! I'm sorry if you got upset when I asked you personal questions about you and Ron, but you can trust me with these things. I'm not just your future sister-in-law, I'm one of your closest friends, if something is on your mind..."

Hermione made an exasperated sigh, blowing her own hair out of her face in a quirky way she did sometimes when she was bored. "I'm tired, okay?" she lied, "Let's see how well you'd fair after four weeks of wedding planning to drain your nerves."

Ginny fell for this simple explanation and immediately cooed, "Ohhh I'm sorry Mione! I forgot how tired you must be, of course, with everything on your shoulders and happening so soon, of course you would be tired and maybe stop caring about everything being perfect! It just raised alarm bells in my head when you didn't seem to care about your dress!"

Hermione stifled a laugh (not wanting to set off anymore of those 'alarm bells' in her friend's over-imaginative head).

"Gin' when you grow up one day, you'll realize marriage isn't about a wedding dress or any of that," she pinched her friend's cheek playfully, "It's a lifelong commitment."

"Oh god!" Ginny suddenly shrieked.

"What?" Hermione stopped walking and looked at Ginny in genuine concern, wondering if she had stubbed her toe or something.

But Ginny was gawking at her. "You sound so middle aged! You're only 20 for merlin's sake! Live it up a little!"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I'm getting married in three days in case I need to remind you. I don't see why I'd want to act out now."

"Hmm there's still time then..." Ginny mumbled, lost in thought.

"I don't know what you're going on about, Ginny, but I'm not sure I like the sound of it...Besides I already have enough with the wedding planning to make anymore last minute arrangements."

Ginny suddenly burst out laughing. "Oh trust me, Hermione, you won't have to worry about this, you can leave the planning all to me!"

"Leave the planning of what?!" Hermione demanded.

Ginny had the biggest smile on her face as she replied, "Only your hen night!"

Hermione's face flushed. "Oh no."

"Oh yes!" Ginny countered and there was nothing Hermione could say to convince her otherwise. "You're having a hen night Hermione, if anyone needs one before they get married it's you! And don't even try to skip out on it! I'm planning it so it will be amazing and I WILL kidnap you to make sure you go!"

Hermione believed her. Ginny was a bit of a psycho when she wanted to be.

Hermione buried her face in her hands and emitted a small cry.

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 **Part 2: The Hen Night**

Luckily, Ginny didn't actually have to kidnap Hermione to go to her hen-night. Though all the same, with Ginny keeping a close eye on her and yabbering excitedly in her ears about how amazing everything she planned was, she did feel coerced. Of course she had no idea exactly how coerced she would feel in a few hours once she was feeling the full effects of Ginny's planning. When Ginny said she planned parties, she didn't do them by half. Not nearly.

Hermione had practically yowled like a cat when Ginny insisted she wear "clubbing" clothes before they stepped out of the door.

"WHAT exactly are clubbing clothes?"

Ginny rolled her eyes, "Tight, cute clothes. Sexy little dresses, a bit of makeup. C'mon I know you have a few things in your closet that would make Harry and my brothers blush!"

"I do NOT!" Hermione felt her face heat up. *Did Ginny know about the ridiculously slutty red dress she had bought once on a whim? Because she'd most certainly never worn it in public.*

"C'mon, Hermione, I want you to have the full experience!" Ginny pleaded, "I'll let you borrow some of my things."

She flung a pair of black heels and a dress towards her, as if she had been prepared for this moment all along to spring them upon her.

Hermione crossed her arms resolutely over her chest. "No way. I'm going like this or I'm not going at all!"

Ginny raised her eyebrows at her friend's worn jeans and plaid sweater. She didn't have to say anything for Hermione to know what she was thinking.

"No way," she warned.

~/~

Half an hour later, Hermione stepped out of the house in a dress so tight and thin she felt frightened the flimsy fabric would fall apart or rip where it was stretched out over her bosom...ahem...and other curving areas...Ginny had also attacked her face and hair with makeup and other beautifying potions so Hermione now felt like a walking-talking Barbie. Ginny of course was also done up to the nines, but the red-head had no trouble looking comfortable in these types of clothes. Unlike Hermione.

Ginny had to practically drag her into the club.

"Don't. You. Start. Now." Ginny warned, "All of our friends are waiting, you're going in there."

"I'm embarrassed wearing this! What if my dress falls down or something?"

"Trust me, no one will care. Anyways with Parvati around, you know you will be the more dressed one!"

Hermione made a face.

Ginny led her by the hand down the crowded dance-floor of a club pumping with ear-shatteringly loud music and towards a VIP area Ginny had booked.

Hermione had been anxious upon arrival in the nightclub but as soon as she saw the room filled with her female friends, she relaxed in a sea of hugs and confetti.

'Maybe this isn't so bad. It's kind of nice actually.' Hermione thought as she smiled and received silly presents from the likes of Luna, Parvati, Padmi, Fleur, Gabriella, and Lavendar. Of course some of the gifts, namely those from Ginny and Parvati, were disgusting and made Hermione redden, the table roared with laughter and Hermione found herself laughing along with them. Even if she was still seeing red at Ginny for gifting her a Male Potency Potion. She was marrying her brother for Merlin's sake! Did Ginny not find it weird to give her sister-in-law that? Hermione shook her head.

They started playing some ridiculous hen-night style games that Ginny had planned and with the pink fire whiskeys pouring, Hermione started to enjoy herself more and stop worrying.

Although she found it irritating that Ginny kept passing her little cups of drinks. She'd already had two drinks and that was quite enough for the night.

"Would you quit trying to get me to drink more?" she finally snapped when Ginny nudged yet another bubbling pink champagne glass towards her.

"I just think you need to relax more, Hermione."

"I am relaxed Gin-ny." Hermione said, thinking spitefully that Ginny could make a good bartender.

"You're still nervous, I can tell," Ginny fiddled with a strand of her red hair, "And I don't want you to be nervous."

"Why would I be nervous?" Hermione asked.

Ginny bit down hard on her lip so she didn't burst into laughter.

Hermione misread the mischievious glint in the red-head's eyes.

"I am not going to get drunk, Ginny, if that's what you're thinking! I know you want me to have the _full_ experience but that is NOT happening," she waved a hand at a drunk Luna who was swirling around the dance floor with her arms in the air pretending to be a sea anemone or something weird.

Ginny smirked. "Actually I had in mind something completely different..." _But if she_ _wants to be fully alert when the "surprise" comes, all the more_ _power to her,_ Ginny thought.

Ginny giggled to herself and took another sip of her drink. The red-head knew _she_ needed a few more firewhiskeys to fortify herself. If Hermione really was not going to drink anymore, she could only imagine how red hermione's face would become at the next act. She would be seeing everything with sober eyes.

Oh it was going to be priceless!

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 **Part 3: The Surprise**

Ginny dragged Hermione towards the front of the stage. Luna, Parvati, Padma, Gabriella, Fleur, and were behind them and they all took seats in the front row, which had been cordoned off with a "reserved" banner.

Ginny yanked the banner off the seats and Hermione raised her brows.

"Did you actually reserve these seats or are you just tearing that off because you feel like it?" Hermione asked skeptically.

"Do I look like a criminal?" Ginny rolled her eyes, "Silly! I reserved them." She paused to smile in a manic way that frightened Hermione, "Trust me, everything is planned."

Everything?

"Oh okay," Hermione stammered and tried to look behind her, wondering if someone would suddenly pop up behind her to scare her, if that was part of Ginny's plan.

The crowd bustling through the small auditorium was almost entirely women, most of them their age, Hermione did not recognize anyone in there. Though she would have been frightened if she looked closer in the crowd, for there were in fact several female proffessors in attendance, including McGonagall and Umbridge, but Ginny yanked Hermione down into her seat before she could get a closer look.

The lights fell down and a spotlight appeared on the black curtains covering the front stage while steady techno music started to play.

"Ginny what kind of show is this?"

Beside her, Lavender and Parvati broke into peals of drunken laughter.

But Ginny gave them a sharp look and they fell silent. She patted Hermione's wrist.

"Relax, you'll like it!" Ginny smiled but she kept an iron grip on Hermione's wrist so that she couldn't run away.

A pulse of worry started to course through Hermione.

The black curtains fell open and Hermione's mouth hit the floor.

A team of male dancers, with rippling abs and muscles, stood there in black robes, leather chaps and silvery Death Eater masks over their faces. Hermione was shocked.

Was this some sick joke?

"Ladies and gals, welcome to the show that has the nation's cauldrons bubbling, these are the Death Eater Dancers! They are highly trained in all the Dark Arts, especially seduction." The audience cheered. "And they only live to serve your pleasure!"

Hermione fixed Ginny with a 'what-the-hell-is-this' look. Ginny just smiled at her and clapped along with the crowd.

Suddenly Luna stood up from her chair and hollered drunkenly as the men started dancing.

One of them threw a leather glove at Luna and nodded his head at her. Parvati, Lavendar and Ginny also screamed like a set of cheerleaders and the whole audience followed their lead and became even louder and more raucous.

Only Hermione sat rigid her seat, horrified and motionless, while everyone else screamed wildly. Her face was red but she felt furious that Ginny had taken her to a stripclub and a Death Eater themed one! It was utterly tasteless. Especially so soon after the war. They even looked like Death Eaters with realisitically reproduced snake-and-skull tattoos on their forearms. Although it was increasingly obvious they were dancers, not Death Eaters, as they took off their outer robes and jiggled their well-oiled muscles for the screaming crowd.

Hermione was even more furious with herself that she hadn't guessed what kind of show this would be. Of course Ginny would take her to a strip show for her hen night! How naive could she get! Trust Ginny to choose death eater dancers so Hermione had to worry about being _Avada Kedavrad_ while having their buttocks and abs thrust in her face. Because they were in the front row.

Hermione gave Ginny a 'I-will-kill-you-for-this' look.

Ginny gave her a lazy smile while one of the masked dancers, with long blonde hair like the mane of a horse, sidled up closer to them after Ginny had been screaming "Over here! Over here!"

Hermione wanted to pinch Ginny but it was too late.

"Over there! Over there!" Hermione desperately hollered, pointing anywhere else but at herself, as the dancer moved towards them.

"No here! Come here!" Ginny screeched, pointing directly at Hermione.

The blonde dancer, clad only in black leather chaps and black underwear that barely concealed his modesty, was thinner and less muscly than the others, who were all tanned and looked like they regularly took muscle potions. He had paler skin and looked more human though he still had a six pack rippling across his taut thin chest.

He approached Hermione and Ginny uncertainly.

"Would you like a private dance?" a soft masculine voice asked from behind the mask.

Hermione felt her nerves bristle. Hadn't she heard that voice somewhere before? But she had no time to think where she knew that voice as Ginny started to scream her head off beside her.

"Yes!" Ginny screamed, "Give her the dance! Its her hen night! Give her the dance pleassseeeeee!"

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 **Part 4: Private Dancer**

"Yes!" Ginny screamed, "Give her the dance!"

Hermione was about to kick Ginny hard in the shins.

But for some reason, at the same time, the same word "Yes" came flying out of her own mouth.

What the hell did she just say?

"Yes!" Hermione felt herself saying enthusiastically to the masked dancer, "Yes, pick me!"

She smiled sweetly up at the dancer and she realized Ginny had her under the imperious curse!

Oh the biatch!

The blonde dancer stood silent for a moment staring down at Hermione, his glorious pale abs right inches from her face, before he said "Okay" and reached out his hand to grab hers.

Hermione wanted to run away, and never step outside of her house again, so help her god, but of course, she felt her hand stretch towards his. She was expecting his hands to be sweaty and rough but his pale hands were cool and soft as he pulled her gently up to her feet.

"Good luck!" Ginny hollered behind her and all the front row, containing her friends, hooted and hollered.

 _Yeah, these were supposed to be her friends. Of course, with Ginny imperiusing a smile on her face, they had no idea she was screaming in horror under the surface! Though you would think they knew her well enough by now to never willingly agree to go with a stripper, especially one dressed as a Death Eater, for a private dance!_

 _I mean c'mon people! She was Hermione Granger, not Parvati Patil! She was clearly under the Imperius curse!_

As the blonde dancer led her away from the audience, Hermione made a mental note to 'fire' all her friends as soon as this whole ordeal was over. But all she could do as she was led to her doom was smile.

The dancer, still in his mask, led her to a cushiony side room lit and pointed his wand at the door to make the room perfectly silent.

He turned to her and, alone in this room together, she felt her breathe hitch in her throat. She wasn't sure if she wasn't glad she was on autopilot right now as she sank down into a leather chair. She felt certain her legs would've keeled under her if she hadn't sat down.

"And what do you want today?" he asked, looming over her, so that again his rippling chest and...ahem...leather pouch...was inches from her embarrassed face.

 _Oh Ginny you better not take it too far,_ she said in her head. As if testing fate, Ginny did not take warning.

"Everything!" she felt herself saying. She was certain her face had become as red as a tomato.

The masked blonde laughed. "Sorry to disappoint you but I'm not a prostitute." He paused to look her up and down in the skimpy dress Ginny had made her wear. "Although I am tempted, so thanks for the offer."

Oh god! Why couldn't a bolt of lightning come down in the room and strike her dead?!

He pulled up another chair and sat in front of her. The proximity made her more uncomfortable than anything. But Ginny had the indecency to make her giggle.

"Is something funny?" the blonde asked.

"Oh nothing!" Hermione said, completely out of control of what her lips were saying, "I am just so excited! It's my hen night, I think I deserve a treat?"

Although Hermione couldn't see his face, she thought for certain that he must be shocked by how slutty she sounded. Oh she was going to kill Ginny!

"You're getting married tomorrow?" the blonde asked in a concerned tone.

 _Wait..what? Wasn't he supposed to be dancing, not asking meaningful questions. What's going on here?!_ Hermione felt panicked.

"Hee hee, yes," Hermione, or rather Ginny, said, "I'm settling down." Oh no she didn't! Throwing her own words back at her. She had told Ginny in confidence that she was settling down and now she had to tell this stranger that. It was none of his business!

"You're settling down?" the blonde shook his head, "You're only 20 why do you want to rush into marriage?"

What the hell kind of question was that? This was almost making her more uncomfortable than she would be if he were just dancing.

Hermione grinned stupidly, sounding like a complete moron, "I guess I don't know how to have fun, so I like settling for what's safe and easy."

"That's wrong. You can't just marry someone because it's safe and easy."

And you would know? Who the hell did this guy think we was giving her life advice. The relationship durations of strippers was very short from what she had read. In a scholarly article. *Wags mental finger at audience.*

And then the most foul, crude words imaginable came out of Hermione Granger's dainty mouth.

"Listen Bud, are you going to give me my lap dance or not?"

Ginny was officially dead.

"You know you're really something else, Hermione, I didn't think you were like this at all," the blonde said and threw off his mask. And long wig.

What-the-holy-bleep.

"D-draco?" Hermione stammered and she realized that the imperious curse had been lifted. Ginny must've high tailed it out of the club and was probably fleeing the country right now for her life. "Draco Malfoy?"

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 **A/N: XD! What is going to happen next?! Hang in there for the next part! ***Next part posted tomorrow*****

 **Review/make requests if you want the M rated, extended dance version! I can also put another chapter of an alternative ending with someone else is the strip dancer (like Harry, Snape, Sirius or even Neville!)! Please please review and/or fav/follows, it would mean a lot! Thanks and hope you enjoyed the story!**

 **xoxoxo**


	2. Draco 2

**Part 5: Ultimatums**

"D-draco?" Hermione stammered and she realized that the imperious curse had ended. Ginny must've high tailed it out of the club and was probably fleeing the country right now for her life. "Draco Malfoy?"

"Don't look so shocked," he said quietly. His pale face unreadable.

"Excuse me! How am I not supposed to be shocked, you're Draco," she made a face, "and you're a stripper?!"

Draco crossed his arms, "I'm actually more shocked by you Granger, I had no idea you could be so lewd."

"What-No!" she stammered, "I did NOT say those things! I was under the imperious curse! Do you really think I would agree to have a private dance by you?!"

Draco seemed unconvinced. "You didn't know it was me."

Hermione buried her face in her hands. "Ugh! Ginny must have planned this all along! She must've known you work here." She suddenly raised her head back up to look at him incredulously. "Wait why do you work here? Aren't you supposed to be filthy rich!"

For once Draco showed a bit of emotion and sat back down in front of her. "Don't be so judgmental, Granger," he said and she tried hard not to be judgemental-ish as Draco Malfoy sat before her in a leather pouch and chaps. Oops did I say leather pouch? Eyes back up there.

"...I was disowned by my family, I'm no longer rich."

"Oh god, I'm so sorry!"

He smiled at her display of sympathy. "It's not so bad, you learn things. So why are you getting married to Ron?"

"W-what kind of question is that?!" He's the one working as a stripper, he's the one who needs to sort out his priorities! Okay that was judgmental. Damn why was she so judgmental!

"Geezus Granger, it's just a question. You'd think you'd know the answer before you got married tomorrow." Draco chuckled to himself as if her whole life and decisions were a joke to him.

Hermione felt her face redden and she said through gritted teeth, "I know perfectly well why I'm getting married tommorow, thanks Draco! If I don't feel the need to discuss my private life with you, that's my business."

"Just answer the damn question, Granger."

Little alarm bells were going off in her head. "Did Ginny put you up to this?"

"Why Hermione?" he repeated. At the same time, he stood up to his full height and she had to stand up as well. Otherwise his leather pouch would be right in her face.

Hermione felt increasingly panicked at how the situation was going. And how out of control she was in it.

"Why? You're asking me why? You barely know me! How about WHY are YOU asking me so many questions, aren't you supposed to be giving me a lap dance!" she blurted then immediately covered her mouth in shock at what she'd said outloud.

God why did everything she said have to sound so perveted?

Was two drinks all she needed to act like a moron?

"You really are lewd. But no I won't be giving you any lap dance, you don't deserve it." He crossed his arms and looked every bit as smug as he did when he was rich.

"I thought you worked here!" How dare he tell her that she didn't deserve it! Now who was being judgmental. Wait why did she even want his lap dance anyways!

"I can pick and choose my customers, I don't have to put up with sexual harassment." Draco sneered in her face. Oh how she wanted to punch him again.

"I have NOT sexually harassed you!"

"Oh really? Because I can't count the number of times you looked down there while we were speaking," he waved a hand to his crotch, "You don't even love Ron do you?"

Hermione blustered and pointed accusingly between him and his crouch, she felt so confused and overwhelmed. And dammit eyes up there!

"That!" she said staring at anywhere but at Draco and blindly pointed at the black leather pouch, "would make anyone uncomfortable! It has NOTHING to do with my relationship status with Ron!" she cried indignantly.

He smirked. "Quit lying to yourself Granger."

"Oh I'm lying to myself?" she was close to hysterics now and pulling at her hair which had been in a neat bun, "How about you? Why are you even here Draco? You don't even work here do you!?" she burst outloud without thinking of what she was saying, "Because if you are, you're the worst stripper I have ever seen! You should've been fired ages ago for mouthing off to the customers!"

Draco's lips set in a firm line. "You know what Granger, I think I will give you a lap dance."

"What?!"

"I think you need one. Believe me I'll be doing you a favour...Because I don't think you realize the truth until it hits you smack in the face."

Hermione's jaw hit the floor.

Why the hell did all her blood just run downwards when he said that?

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A/N: Oh no another cliff hanger! **Honestly did not plan on that, but its

getting late where I live and I promised you guys the next part today (though

if you live in a different time zone, it will already be tomorrow and you might

be angry at me)! Hope you liked it! Shoutouts to everyone who supported the story! Feel

free to request any dance moves you want to see etcetera for draco's dance in the

next part. Not sure when I will put the next part but I'll try to get it up soon ;)

cONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM also appreciated to help me write better, thx


	3. Draco 3

**A/N: So sorry I didn't update this sooner I got distracted by my other stories. But here is the next part and thanks so much for all your reviews, they made me laugh! You guys left some funny reviews! XD**

* * *

 **Part 6: Can you Handle It?**

"I think you need one. Believe me I'll be doing you a favour," Draco rubbed his hands together, "Because I don't think you realize the truth until it hits you smack in the face."

Hermione felt her heart palpitating. She wanted to say something but her brain seemed to have suffered a malfuction for she was still siting in the chair, her mouth hanging wide open as she gaped at Draco. Also she was pretty sure her legs had turned to jelly otherwise she would've run screaming out of the room.

Draco took this moment to step in front of her, his perfectly sculpted abs right on her eye level. He brushed a strand of her hair from her eye.

"If you have no doubts about marrying Ron tommorow, you should be able to handle a mere dance from me...Right?" Draco asked with arched eyebrows.

Hermione did not like the intrigue in his icy grey eyes but couldn't really poke a hole in his argument.

"Um..Right...?"

Draco smirked.

"You have no doubts?"

"No. None at all!" she said stiffly and crossed her arms, trying to look comfortable in her chair, as if she were sitting there by choice and not because her legs had turned into jello.

"So you can handle it?" he whispered closer to her ear now.

Hermione held her head even higher and sounded cockier than ever, "Draco please! I can handle anything you throw at me. I'm a grown woman, getting married tommorow...I know how the world works! Your dance won't have ANY affect on me!"

Draco seemed intrigued. "It wont?" he said quietly. Almost a murmur.

Hermione tried not to gulp.

"Well let's see how you _handle_ it," Draco's voice was so quiet it was almost a whisper on her back as he moved behind her.

"Where are you going?" she asked in mild panic. She didn't like having someone standing behind her.

"Don't blow your fuse yet Granger. I'm just getting my wand."

"Why do you need your wand for dancing?" she tried to laugh it off, "Is your dancing really that bad?"

Draco rolled his eyes. "I'm a wizard, as such I dance as one."

She crossed her arms. "Well I don't want you to use your wand on me!" the club had taken away her wand at the entrance as part of its security policy. It wasn't fair that Draco had his wand and she didn't.

"My dance, my conditions," he said.

She was about to open her mouth to speak when he pointed his wand at her and a silk scarf wrapped itself firmly but snugly around her mouth.

"Like I said: my dance, my conditions."

Hermione's eyes widened. She was not sure she liked being in Draco's control anymore than when Ginny had been in control.

Draco smirked and used the tip of his wand to trace across her jaw where it rested on her chin.

"I haven't tied you. You can still walk out of here." His grey eyes flickered downwards with amusement. Did he know her legs had turned to mush? Because she was too embarrassed to stand up and let him see how shakily she would walk.

"Thought not." He smiled to himself and ran his finger along the tip of his wand. "Well I'll give you 5 seconds more to change your mind. Because I'm a gentleman."

Hermione glared at him but refused to give him the benefit of showing him fear. It was just a dance afterall. On her hen night. She could handle it! Sheesh. It was not like he was about to blow her mind. Though that is how he acted, he was so damn smug. She hated that smug look on his face. She wished she could drag his face through a pile of mud.

Draco counted down slowly on his long thin fingers, "1...2...3...4..."

 _Get out Hermione! Get out! Get out now!_ her mind was screaming but the other part of her was saying _No don't let him win! He think's you're scared of him, if you run off you'll be proving him right!_

"..5..."

When she didn't budge from her chair, Draco smirked down at her.

Before she had any time for further doubts, he flicked his wand again and scarves tied her arms and legs to the chair.

Oh my god. Was it too late to change her mind?! Because she couldn't even speak or move now. Oh god.

Panicked thoughts flooded her head. What if Draco really was a Death Eater again and this was all a trick? Though the war was over maybe he held some grudge against her? or was he going to use her to try to get to Harry? Her brow frowned with all the bad thoughts she was having.

A snap of Draco's fingers brought her attention back to the scantily clad, black leather-chaps and underwear wearing, pale-skinned blonde muscly sweating musky sex god standing before her. Wait did she think of him as a sex god? Oh she was in so much trouble.

Draco saw her frowning. "Relax Granger I'm not going to hurt you," he rolled his eyes, "It's your hen night, like you said, you deserve a treat right?... God knows you'll need it if you really intend to spend the rest of your life with the weasel."

He walked around her and threaded his hand around her neck.

The music started to play.

Uh oh.

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 **Next parts:**

 **Part 7: I don't Think You Can Handle It**

 **Part 8: In which Hermione Beats the shit out of Draco...then kisses him?**

 **Part 9: Will she still marry Ron or has one taste of Malfoy changed her mind?**

 **A/N: It's official: I'm a tease. But it is called "striptease" right? Hang in there folks, its coming eventually...very soon...muy pronto...how much longer again**


	4. Draco 4

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed/fav/followed. This part is a bit ridiculous but if anyone has complaints, I can rewrite it more to your liking, just PM me :) Next part posted tommorow since this is short. Song - me and you by cassie or hold it against me remix by britney spears**

* * *

 **Part 7: ...I don't think you can handle it!  
**

Draco snapped his wand and a heavy melodic beat with some serious bass and electric guitar began to play. Though Hermione's legs and arms were tied she felt like tapping her foot to the beat. Or perhaps that was just nervousness. She didn't know. Her mouth was also tied with a scarf. So she literally couldn't complain even if she wanted to.

Draco was in complete control.

For once in her life, Hermione Granger, ever studious and ever careful for the first 20 years of her life, was completely out of control. And she wasn't sure how she ever got into such a wreckless situation. She felt as if she really had been captured by a death eater. Though this death eater no longer wore his mask and his abs were bare, he still wore a genuine dark mark on his arm. That snake and skull tattoo that Draco got in his sixth year when he actually served The Dark Lord as one of his death eaters. When Dumbledore had been summoned to be killed by him...and when Draco had been so close to...

She shivered, whether out of fear or panic, as Draco sidled up to her chair with a dark look inhis eyes.

His narrow hips were inches from her face and it made her all the more aware that Draco, Draco Malfoy, the bully and pureblood supremacist she grew up with and hated, was wearing nothing but leather chaps and a black leather pouch to cover his modesty. She could smell the musky scent of his pale skin, he smelled like an orchid. And dammit, why did he have to look so good? Because she hated him right? Why did his sculpted linear abs have to lead down his six pack with a trail of hair all the way towards his...

Hermione gulped before her thoughts got anymore carried away. If she started sweating Draco would get the wrong idea and think he had won. She couldn't let him win.

Draco stared down at her, his dark expression unreadable in the dim blue lights of the private room. One of his elegant hands held his wand, his other hand rested on the back of her chair, barely touching the bare skin of her shoulderblade which was exposed in the skimpy dress Ginny had forced her to wear.

"Hermione, Hermione Granger," he drawled coolly, denouncing each word with aching slowness as if he were testing out how it sounded on his tongue, "I'm going to do something I've been wanting to try for years..."

Draco moved around to face her fully and then kneeled down before her. Suddenly he placed his hands on her thighs. His grasp gentle but firm. She could feel the slight edge of his nail dig into her thigh.

Merlin's mother! Hermione felt her heartbeat start to beat erratically. Why was he kneeling before her?! Just breathe just breathe just breathe in and ou 123 123. Hermione desparately started reciting mathematical equations and boring potions ingredients in her head to try to distract herself and calm down. But it was no use Draco was everywhere, right in front of her, speaking, his hands on her thighs.

"This is going to be highly unproffessional but..." Draco drawled, "I just can't resist the opportunity Granger, I might never have the chance again."

Suddenly he frowned and Hermione was almost frightened by the pain she saw in his silver eyes.

"...You may hate me for it, but fuck, you've always hated me anyways."

Hermione was shocked as a single tear rolled down Draco's cheek. Was he crying?

She didn't have time to think why he'd be crying as he suddenly stood up from her and waved his wand violently in the air. In an instant green flames filled the room. The room appeared to be on fire with heatless green flames that flickered and danced around them like waves in the ocean. Standing amidst the flames, Draco seemed like a tragic hero. His messy blonde hair stuck to his forehead with mild perspiration. Hermione could feel her own sweat trickle down her back, pooling downwards.

Draco waved his wand again and green sparkling lights shot through the room in a chaotic pattern and the most beautiful music she ever heard touched her ears, it sounded angelic yet dark and orgasmic. Hermione felt like she was sitting in the middle of a green inferno with a fallen angel.

Draco stood still in the midst of the sparkling lights and flames shooting up all around them. Then he threw his wand away and Draco finally began to dance.

Hermione felt her mind combust and blow up into smitheereens.

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A/N: SO next part will be M rated. I will post it tommorow. Promise. AND don't blame

me if it blows your mind. Blame Draco ;)


	5. Draco 5

**AUTHORS NOTE: So I promised the next part today though it's nearly twelve ;) Hope it lives up to expectations...if not feel free to leave me a funny flame review ;)**

* * *

 **Part** **8** : **ln Which** **Draco Blows Her mind**

Draco began to thrust his hips in the air.

Hermione felt her eyes pop.

Moving melodically to the beat with each thrust, Draco's body showed a new flexibility as he shook and writhed around like a sexy snake on the floor. The green flames and enchanted lights he had summoned earlier rippled all around him in waves that echoed his powerful magic. He truly danced like a wizard and it was like nothing she'd ever seen. Hermione visibly struggled not to stare open mouthed at Draco. She kept trying to focus her eyes on the dark mark on his arm or the wall behind him but with each movement of his lithe body it was as if he were demanding her attention and she had no choice but to give it.

She shuddered as Draco thrust his hips forward while looking straight into her eyes.

Oh dear this was just going to get worse wasn't it?

Hermione felt herself melting like a piece of butter before a fire as Draco swaggered towards her, his rippling abs and core muscles dewy with a light sheen of sweat and shimmering in the green flames around them. He was so raw, so masculine, she'd never seen Draco look so powerful. While she was tied to a chair. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. She was going to kill Ginny Weasley if she ever got out of this alive.

Draco smirked as he stood before her, his wide shoulders back in his full impressive height. Hermione never felt so small or so weak. She tried to mumble something but it came out in an incoherent moan muffled by the scarf around her mouth. But Draco heard it and an almost dangerous look came into his face and without warning, he began to grind against her. Hermione tried not to hyperventilate.

Draco's hips rolled against her in a slow rhythm that made her stomach do flipflops.

Oh god oh god oh god. PG13. PG13. Sesame street. Mathematic equations. The square root of 89 is...oh god what is it?

Sweat was beading down her back and she couldn't even think straight anymore.

The worst part is that Draco's eyes were closed now and he was breathing heavily. Why were his eyes closed? Fuccccckkkk.

A soft sound escaped his mouth as he stroked one of her legs apart before sitting down and straddling her.

If her mouth wasn't already gagged she would've screamed out his name and told him to get his sexy pretty butt off her. Because he'd already won. He'd proven his point. He had an effect on her. Like the sun on the moon.

His eyes opened as she flinched underneath him. His eyes were beautiful close-up. Like the shade of a stormy winter sea. Dangerous. Crazy. Beautiful. Hungry.

"Tell me I dont mean anything to you Granger," Draco muttered, "Just try and tell me."

He wrapped one of his hands into her hair and grabbed a fistful. Suddenly he yanked on her hair and buried his face in her scent.

Involuntarily Hermione groaned.

Taking that as a signal Draco ripped off the scarf around her mouth and violently crashed his lips against hers.

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Bother. I wanted to finish writing this tonight but its getting late and i promised the next part today. I will have to make this chapter longer tomorrow..

* * *

Ugh now it's tomorrow but I'm too tired again. I will have to make it longer "later". Thanks to everyone who reviewed :-)


	6. Draco 6

**Sorry about the delay. Really. I was a bit stuck before but thanks for all your reviews and interest I'm back for more! Also just to let you know, after Draco's chapters are finished, Severus Snape will be the next act in Death Eater Strip Dancers! Yeah! So you can expect grease marks on the dance floor from ol' Snape!**

 **xoxoxo**

* * *

 **Part 9: Smackers**

Hermione Granger felt as if she had been slapped backwards in her chair as Draco Malfoy's lips crashed violently against hers.

The impact of his lips so hot and hard that she instantly melted and without thinking opened her mouth to moan. Draco twisted his hand into her hair to tilt her head back and traced his tongue along her lips before darting it into her mouth. His tongue was like hot velvet.

Hermione's eyes popped open as she felt Draco's tongue swirl inside her mouth.

But then her she closed her eyes again and her toes curled in her shoes as she felt what Draco's tongue was doing to her mouth.

 _Oh god oh god oh god._

She tried not to flinch and shudder with each stroke of his tongue.

Oh god if that was what his tongue could do can you imagine what the rest of him could do? Merlin almighty she needed to control her imagination. Before she exploded.

She fllinched again as Draco lowered his hand from her hair and pulled her hips towards him. His other hand trailed down her arm and rubbed his fingers in a soft circular motion against her wrist. It was just her wrist but she felt her mind, and body, exploding.

Hermione started hyperventilating. Like she couldn't breathe. Or maybe that was from too much kissing with Draco sucking on her face like life support.

As if reading her mind, Draco's lips twitched in a smirk against her mouth and he pulled back from her lips briefly. His breathe heavy.

"Don't stop," Hermione croaked like a bullfrog in heat. Her voice hoarse and embarassingly husky.

"I can't stop," Draco moaned like a sexy yak and brought his lips crashing back to her.

Hermione's head twisted back for the second time so that she was staring wide-eyed at the ceiling while Draco's lips worked on her neck.

Oh no oh no no no no what did he think he was doing. He was going to push her over the edge.

He lifted her hips towards him again. While suckling on the pulse point on her neck.

Oh yes he was going to push over the edge. She was barely missing it by a few millimeteres.

Finally she couldn't take it anymore.

She had enough of her mind being blown. She was supposed to be getting married tommorow.

Not making out with Draco Malfoy. Who had become a stripper. With plenty of hidden talents.

She gasped and summoned the strength to speak.

"Untie me right now Malfoy!"

Draco stopped kissing her neck. His pale face frowning.

"Okay, sorry if I..."

"Just. Do. It."

Draco stood up from her and waved his wand to release her. His grey eyes seemed confused as he stared at her.

Hermione promptly got up out of her chair, shook off her limbs and straightened her dress out. She then walked straight to Malfoy and slapped him. Hard. on. the. face.  
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 **a/n: Is Hermione going to kick Draco's ass or finish what he started? Review and I promise to put the last Draco chapter up tonight! Also review to tell me if you want Snape or Lucius in the next chapters. I'll be doing them all of the death eaters, but let me know who you want to see next! Thx**


	7. Draco 7

**A/n: tHANKS TO everyone that reviewed/faved/followed. This chapter has been completely rewritten so its longer. Also HUGE apology to anyone I let down by not updating sooner. I honestly banged my head against the wall two days trying to get the last draco chapters out but it refused to come til now. sOrry. Late night update so it might not make sense. I hope i wont be embarssed by what i wrote tommorow. Nar...**

* * *

 **Part 10: Move Like A Soldier**

Suddenly the powerful vengeful Hermione Granger, who had been Harry's right hand man to bring down Voldemort, came back into fullforce. In full battle mode.

She slapped Draco hard on the face, then elbowed him in his perfect abs as she scrambled away to grab his wand.

Draco clutched his face in shock, a scowl marring his perfect handsome features.

"What the bloody hell was that for?!"

She ignored him and went to grab his wand off the floor. She quickly raised the wand and pointed it at him.

"You know what you've done!" she spat. He bloody wrecked her wedding plans. Because even if she did go back to Ron, she'd be thinking of him and what kind of wife would that make her?!

"I don't know what you're talking about Granger," Draco's grey eyes gloated with pure smugness. He knew exactly what he was doing to her. "I thought we were finally getting along for a moment, actually it was quite nice." He quirked his lips as he traced his finger along her chin.

But Hermione was having none of that, she stepped back and pointed the wand at him. "I'm not playing around Malfoy," _that wasn't strictly true she still wanted to jump his bones_ , "In fact, I'm getting highly suspicious of this whole situation!" She tried to put her serious battle-mode face on. Though it was hard when her opponent was both unarmed and undressed.

Draco rolled his eyes. "And tell me Granger," he drawled, completely unafraid that she was pointing his wand at him, "What's so suspicious? Is it your intense attraction to me that worries you? Because I assure you no potions have been used, it's pure raw animal attraction. People tell me all the time that I'm a sexy beast!"

 **(Author's note: Draco was very correct considering he got her to croak like a bullfrog in heat, while he moaned like a sexy yak after he danced and writhed around like a sexy snake on the floor and she attacked him like a bobcat on a killing spree. and that is the same thing you'll see on the Discovery Channel)**

"Just shut up!" she digged the wand into his neck, "I want to know one thing, you said you don't kiss...or er..." her face turned bright red "make er..to your customers."

"Fuck?"

"Yes, that to your customers," she breathed, glad she didn't have to spell it out, "you said you weren't a prostitute, but you seem to act highly unproffessional with me. Do you actually work here?"

"Why worried I might lose my job?" Draco sneered and had the indecency to flex his pectoral muscles.

"No!" Hermione yelled and felt her eyebrows twitch, "Though why did you kiss me?!" Or moan. Or totally have a hard on for her. Not that she was complaining.

Draco yawned tiredly. "Maybe I was trying to do you a favour Granger."

Hermione smelled a lie. "So you always make-out with your customers? Because you told me before that you weren't a prostitute."

Draco rolled his eyes, "Do I look like a prostitute Hermione?" he said smugly, "Honestly Granger, I don't even work here, I thought you'd figured that out."

"You. don't. work. here?!" Fume was coming out of her ears she was so angry, she didn't know whether she wanted to beat him or attack his leather pouch.

"No, Ginny came to me a few days ago. She thought you and Ron were making a big mistake by rushing to get married, so she came up with a plan to test you."

"Test me?!" OMG she was going to kill Ginny.

"Don't worry she tested Ron too and I'm guessing he already fell for the bait."

"Who's his bait?!" she demanded.

"Frenchie Delacour."

"The veela?" Hermione's turned red, not quite sure who she felt madder at now or who she was supposed to kill first: Draco, Ron, Frenchie-what's-her-face or Ginny for concocting this whole demented plan.

"And she chose you? As my bait?!" she asked incredulously.

"It worked didn't it?" the blonde pureblood looked more than smug than ever. He rubbed her arm suggestively, "She told me you had a thing for me back at Hogwarts." He smirked. "If I had known, Merlin I would've done something about it earlier. "

Hermione couldn't get her head wrapped around how fudged up this situation was.

"Wait did you say you had a thing for me back at Hogwarts?"

"You were strictly off limits but yeah, I noticed you."

"You're not actually disowned are you Draco?"

He crooked his lips. "No, not yet. My father still thinks I'm his obedient son, of course if he knew if I was here giving you a lap dance, he'd have a few choice words about it."

"Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh!" she lunged at him again. She never felt more angry or betrayed. They fell together to the floor.

Hermione tried to pummel him in the face but he grabbed her arm before she could punch him.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?!" she shouted madly, "I was supposed to get married tommorow, we have 3000 guests and now-now- I don't think I can do it!"

Draco smirked. "Am I really that good?"

She tried to slap him again but he grabbed her hands before she could. His hands and grip were too strong. But she thrashed around, trying to get her hands free.

"Let me go!" she thrashed around under him

"Why? So you can try to beat me up Granger?" he pinned her arms to her side and easily overpowered her, "Merlin you always liked to hit me don't you Granger?

"I should beat your arse!" she yelled then blushed at how naughty that sounded.

A dark look came into Draco's eyes.

"Now you're just asking for it."

"Good!" Hermione yelled without thinking. Wait wtf did she just say 'good'?

Draco chuckled in her ear. "If that's what you want, I will beat your arse Granger," he whispered in her ear and then darted his tongue against her shell, "I knew you were a dirty little minx."

Oh sweet merlin!

 **.**

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 **Author's note: one more dramione chapter then Next act is Snape!** **Can the old greasy potions master give Draco a run for his money? How will he shake his booty? (Alternative ending where it is Snape, not Draco, who removes his death eater mask, so it will be a seperate ending to Chapter 1.)**

 **Please give your suggestions for the song Snape dances to, otherwise I'm going to choose a ridiculous song for him :-)**


	8. Draco 8

**A/N: Thank you skuldvampteeth, hoshiakari7, tneha, whitewolfie3000, marianna79, delusionaldoll, guest (awesome), silvina goh, solange lover, the fiction princess, pattycake, rough-and-tumble, theshuleslovinpsycho, incendiar riddle, ramyfan, pianomouse and jesande4579 for their amazing reviews! I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint you...though its far from over! Anyways thanks for the enthusiasm!**

* * *

 **Part 11: Melted Icing**

Three-thousand guests sat nervously waiting for the groom and bride to appear.

The best and brightest of the wizarding world had gathered to attend the matrimonial union of two of the Golden Trio to each other. It was a smouldering hot July day for an even more golden wedding. Everything had been carefully arranged for a pitch perfect, no surprises perfectly-perfect not-a-hair-out-of-place wedding. Under the hot sun, the golden sugary icing on the enormous three layer stacked cake was beginning to melt. The guests fidgeted in their seats, looking around the large enchanted tent that had been set up behind the Burrow.

But so far it was a no show. No one had either heard or seen a hair of Hermione Granger or Ron Weasley, the dearly beloved who were supposed to be united in holy matrimony today.

Molly Weasley, who had planned much of the wedding to perfection, looked close to tears as she wringed her hands together and bit her lip. "Where could they be? Oh where could they be?"

And where was Ginny?

Finally Harry, looking a bit hungover in his tux though he was supposed to be the best man, stumbled down the aisle.

"Harry!" Molly immediately shrieked and rushed over to him, "What is going on?! Where are they? Where's Hermione?! Where's Ron!"

Harry hesistated to smirk. Ginny had explained the whole situation to him late last night while she had been packing her bags to go on a world-tour. Later he planned to meet her in Timbukta for a romantic secluded getaway. But Molly Weasley didn't need to know that right now. He handed her a small scroll which he received from Hermione at exactly 4am this morning.

Molly grabbed the letter uncertainly out of his hand, her face scowling and growing red as she read its contents.

 _"To Harry,_  
 _There's not going to be a wedding tommorow._ _Ask Ginny why, it's **all** her fault. _

_You can tell Molly to direct any and all questions to her._ _Sorry about that._

 _Also you can find Ron with Frenchie Delacouere...(_ there was a scribbled  
out smudge of ink before someone's else's writing had written the last line) _while I'll be bonking my brains out shagging Malfoy_ _senseless._

 _Yours truly,_  
 _Hermione Granger"_

Suddenly all the wedding guests turned as they heard Molly Weasley emit a loud, almost inhuman, shriek.

"SHE DID WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"

Three thousand pairs of eyes looked at Molly Weasley's beet red face as she clutched a letter tightly in her fist. Harry Potter, the boy who lived, stood beside her with an innocent smirk on his face.

Secretly he felt very pleased with his troublemaker girlfriend and he reminded himself that it was not without the twins influence that Ginny grew up to be such a resourceful and winsome witch. It certainly kept things interesting...  
...but the Weasley matriarch was less pleased by her daughter's behaviour at this moment.

"WHERE IS GINNNNYYYY?!" Mrs. Weasley yelled louder than a howler as she took out her wand.

A few guests screamed in terror as the fiery matriarch ran through the crowd looking for her daughter.

 ** _Meanwhile 2000 miles away..._**

Ginny Weasley was trekking through the Sahara desert with a map and a small backpack with her as she looked for the remote Bedouin camp where she would be staying for the next year...until things cooled down back at home.

Sweat beaded down her face but she smiled blissfully to herself as she thought of all the alone-time she would have with  
Harry when he came to join her. Being on the run might be a lot of fun with just Harry and a tent around...she might even have to postpone returning! Yes, her plan had gone exactly as planned...and then some! Ginny felt very pleased with herself. She knew everyone would be thanking her once things cooled down. Especially Hermione. She smiled again as she thought of how grateful Hermione would eventually be, though she would have to be on the run for at least a year just to be on the safe side.

Ginny narrowed her eyes suddenly as she thought she heard someone yelling her name but then shook her head and thought nothing of it. It was impossible for anyone to find her here.

No it must've been the yaks. Or was it camels that lived in the sahara desert? She chuckled to herself, she'd always been rubbish at geography, and continued hiking onwards.

 ** _Meanwhile 100 miles away, the northcoast of Dorchester in an_**  
 ** _obscure muggle hotel..._**

"Oh goooooodddddddd! Don't stop!" a young witch's voice was heard screaming with delight as the whole bed under her rattled and shook like an earthquake was taking place upon it. If they hadn't put muffliato and anti-motion sensors on the whole room, they might have already made a hole through the floor or else knocked the chandelier off the ceiling on the floor below.

"I can'tttttttttt stop!" a gruffer deeper voice grunted as he plummetted deeper into her.

He was pale, blonde and had a death eaters tattoo on his left arm.

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A/N: Tanks to everyone for reading. I will try to get the last part up within 1-2 days. it should be goods, and not TOO silly! Plus Draco+ Hermione will finally have some alone time lol.**promise to not make it too silly though draco may blow hermione's mind again and cause brain malfcution**though apparently people like brain damage!**


	9. Draco 9

**A/N: This is the dramione epilogue, but the story continues after this! Also how the heck did this story end up over 10,000 words long?! Siriusly XD thanks for the reviews and encouragement.  
**

 **Part 12: Epilogue**

Hermione Granger sat tied to an elegant serpent motif highback chair, her arms and legs bound.

She wore only heels and her undergarments.

Across from her stood a very dangerous man in full Death Eater robes and mask covering his face, with a wand pointed at her.

They were in Malfoy Manor, in a locked room, and the situation was about to get *very* dangerous.

Hermione, ever the Gryffindor and brave no matter what, bit her lip in anticipation. Steeling herself for whatever dark punishment this Death Eater might have for her. A muggleborn. In Malfoy Manor.

"What are you going to do to me?"

The Death Eater stared at her silently for a moment behind his silvery mask, his eyes raking up and down her scantily-clad figure, before he spoke. His voice steady and smooth as rich velvet. So that she knew he was fucking around.

"I'm going to beat your arse."

Hermione blushed in anticipation, her face and body flooding with warm delicious heat. Oh she'd like that. Something inside her clenched.

He stepped closer to her and whispered, his breathe hot in her ear. "And then I'm going to fuck you so hard, you're going to walk on wobbly legs for a week."

Opened her mouth in surprise. Tiltillated and frightened in equal measure of what his powerful masculine hands and body could do to her. Oh dear...she was in trouble!

"But first..." his voice trailed off as he slipped one of his hands over the rich full mound of her breast. Her breathe hitched in her throat as her nipple immediately hardened. Oh god. Her whole body was tensing up, the muscles aching for release.

"Hurry up," she stammered. God he was such a tease.

The man chuckled. "Impatient are we?"

Her voice came out as a husky gasp, "If you don't hurry up, I'm going to be the one beating you're ass while you're tied up."

The Death Eater tutted. "If I knew you were this frisky, Granger, I might have thought twice about inviting you to my ancestral home."

"Hurry." She warned.

He chuckled again, his cocky grey eyes burning into her from behind the mask. "Fine have it your way."

The Death Eater finally ripped open his robes to reveal a taut six pack and nothing else to hide his modesty save for a tiny strip of leather covering his substantial bulge.

Hermione licked her lips at the sight of the familiar black leather pouch. They had kept *that* garment from the first time they met and it certainly came in handy.

She smirked as he began to shake his hips and dance for her.

Suddenly the door to the private study was flung open and a little girl with red hair and grey eyes skipped in.

"Mummy? Daddy? What are you doing in here?"

Hermione nearly screamed. While Draco swore and quickly closed up his robes.

"Dammit, didn't I tell you to lock the door?" he demanded of his wife as he took off his mask so he wouldn't frighten his child.

"At what point when you took my wand and bound me was I supposed to lock the door?" Hermione Malfoy shrieked, her face red in panic, as her eyes darted between her husband and her daughter.

Their child, Rosie Ginny Malfoy (yes named in the honour of Ginny Weasley, god rest her soul) stared in confusion at her mother tied up to a chair while her father wore weird black robes.

"What's going on? Why is mummy tied up?" the talkative three-year old asked with eyes wide as saucers and a mischievously delighted look on her cherubic face.

Draco covered his face with his hands. Oh fucking hell. If you asked him, the child was a bit too much like her godmother Ginny! She was always asking too much questions and meddling about.

"You explain this," he told his wife as he used his wand to untie and reclothe her. He went and sat by the fireplace, looking very much like a brooding blonde aristocrat.

Oh bloody hell, how was she going to explain this situation to her? Hermione stared at Draco for help but he waved his hand dismissively at her.

Hermione looked back down at her daughter and tried to smile. Though she never felt more embarassed to have to talk to her three-year old. There was something too knowing and mischievous in the toddler's eyes.

"Um...Your mummy and daddy were playing a game, sweetie," she said patting her daughter's head, "Mummy...um..."Draco stifled a laugh and she shot him a sharp look,"...plays the muggleborn while daddy plays the death eater."

Rose Ginny Malfoy's eyes widened. "What's a death eater mummy?"

Oh god. Hermione stared at her daughter's innocent young face expecting an answer and wondered whether she should know the truth yet about what happened during the war. That only a few years ago purebloods like her father and grandfather had been trying to kill muggles and muggleborns like her.

No, it was better to delay the truth for a little while.

"It's a type of dancer," she smirked.

Draco laughed loudly.

So it wasn't the truth, but it wasn't a lie either. Hermione sure as hell knew she ended up with the only type of Death Eater she approved of.

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 **A/N: The end of the dramione part! Yeah! (a much better**  
 **ending than the previous ch 9 right?) LOl Next part Snape is a man**  
 **of mystery on a mission...to dance! But can the ladies handle it?  
**

 **also thanks to solangelover for funny advice on how to write a lemon lol! I'm not sure this is that lemon-y but i appreciated the advice anyways and will keep it mind for the next parts :-)  
**


	10. Snape 10

A/N: JUST SO YOU KNOW THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER WAS COMPLETELY REWRITTEN FROM THE FIRST VERSION. Just saying that because the stats show that most people read the first version of it, not the better version of it that I posted 10 hours later. Okay...Also I may go back and extend Draco/Hermione's romantic scenes later but I'll tell you when I do that ;-)

So this is what would have happened after chapter 1, if Snape not Draco Malfoy was the dancer. But don't think it'll end the same way as Draco's story. No, Snape is a much more difficult man to tie down...and i have a feeling he will be giving hermione more trouble! Lots of it! Because he's a lot more experienced ;-)

* * *

 **The Professional, part 1**

The man in the death eaters robes and black chaps, removed his mask.

Hermione gasped in shock.

She would not have been more shocked or frightened than if she had seen Voldemort. come back from the dead. a third time.

"Professor Snape!"

"Yes, it is I," he said silkily and the former potions master lifted his head higher in the air, looking incredibly arrogant for someone dressed only in leather chaps, unbuttoned robes, and leather underpants. "Are you shocked?"

Hermione was hyperventiliating.

She clapped her hands over her mouth then looked up at him, in disbelief. Briefly she wondered if Ginny had given her a hallucinogen for this evening unravellment was making less and less logical sense. Or maybe Ginny had polyjuiced herself or one of the twins as Snape for a laugh. That would make infinitely more sense, a prank by the Weasley twins before she got married! Surely it couldn't really be the snarkiest man she ever met, Severus Snape, standing here in leather chaps, a sparkly black thong and death eater robes...well the death eater robes yes but not the leather chaps and sparkly black thong...which was stretched deliciously over his prominent male assets.

Hermione realized she was staring and collected her senses. She stared back up at Snape to find his dark eyes were glinting sardonically at her.

"Have you had a good enough look, Miss Granger, or do you want to take a picture too?" he sneered, "It would last you longer."

Hermione nearly died of embarrassment but then she remembered that it was NOT she who was standing in leather chaps and a black thong in a strip club. Professor Snape was the one who needed to be answering her questions!

She tried to focus on his eyes as she spoke though it was very hard to concentrate on her former potions master when she only discovered how well endowed he was.

She fumbled for words, "F-forgive me Professor..er...Snape..."

Snape chuckled. "There's hardly any need to address me as 'Professor' Snape in this situation is there?" he raised a brow, "I'm hardly acting in a professional or educative capacity am I?"

Hermione felt her face burn so red she knew she must look sun burnt. And the worst part is that she knew he was an occlumens, so he could read all her distracted thoughts.

She bit her lip. "S-nape-" she began.

"Severus." He corrected her with the same formality of tone he would use in a lecture.

She nodded shakily and tried to begin again "Severus, uhm, forgive my prying," she gulped, "but why are you here in this club dressed as a...as a death eater?"

"Guess," he hissed darkly.

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 **A/N: So the next chapter is written but I thought I should bounce this off to see if anyone thinks the Snape chapter is too silly or likes the start of it. Also no offense to the Draco fans, but I think Snape is going to turn up the heat by a few notches.**

 **XOXOXOX**

 **thanks to everyone who reviewedfavedfollowed!**


	11. Snape 11

**A/n: Why hello again! Thanks to amerina redwood, marianna79, minniemouse,** **LK-HoGwArTs-hEaDgIrL** **and whitewolfie3000 and the lovely elsiegirl for reviewing! thanks guys! this is a really short chapter so no one has to review it unless you want to LOL! but I will try to get a longer next chapter up very soon, hopefully tomorrow!**

* * *

 **Make No Mistakes**

 _Recap of last chapter:_

 _Snape chuckled. "There's hardly any need to address me as 'Professor'_

 _Snape in this situation is there?" he raised a brow, "I'm hardly acting in a professional or educative capacity am I?"_

 _Hermione felt her face burn so red she knew she must look sun burnt._

 _And the worst part is that she knew he was an occlumens, so he could read all her distracted thoughts._

 _She bit her lip. "S-nape-" she began._

 _"Severus." He corrected her with the same formality of tone he would use in a lecture._

 _She nodded shakily and tried to begin again "Severus, uhm, forgive my prying," she gulped, "but why are you here in this club dressed as a...as a death eater?"_

"Guess," he hissed darkly.

Hermione felt her heartbeat hammering against her chest as her eyes desperately tried to look anywhere except at his bottom or his eyes, which could read her mind like a shred of translucent film. on which would be displayed all her darkest, most shameful, fantasies.

"I really d-don't know," she managed to stutter and winced at how her voice sounded so weak.

Severus Snape grinned, obviously taking delight in her discomfort. In the same menacing way he would take delight in humiliating a student in the classroom when they did not know the correct answer. Humiliating her as he had humiliated Neville Longbottom and countless others.

"No ideas?" he asked mockingly.

Hermione swallowed hard, trying not to look as painfully uncomfortable as she felt. Though she musn't have been succeeding from the gloating expression on his face.

"Well how delightfully interesting that for once the the Gryffindor bookworm doesn't have all the answers," he chuckled to himself before lifting his dark eyes back to her. Hermione blushed as she looked away, trying to focus on the floor, but she soon flinched as she felt his hand at her arm and realized he had stepped closer to her. His voice was a haunting echo close to her neck. The edges of his black robes touching titillatingly against her side as he spoke. "Does it pain you Miss Granger to be so close to me, or is the discomfort I sense in you solely due to being an insufferable know-it-all _caught_ without the answers?"

Hermione felt her hairs raise on and she cleared her throat. Then swallowed two more times trying to clear her throat and mind so that she could be able to speak. Though Snape's warm hand on her arm was searing through her very flesh like a hot iron.

"I'm not sure what you are talking about Sir-"

 _"Severus."_

"Severus," she felt her knees buckle a little under her, "but p-perhaps I had better leave."

She felt his large warm hand tighten around her arm, almost cutting her circulation off with the intensity of his grip, as she said the word "leave".

"Oh I do not intend for you to go anywhere Miss Granger," he said softly.

Her heart was palpitating. "Surely-surely this must be some misunderstanding!" She bit her lip.

How could he want her here? Why was he even here? He had not explained anything!

"Oh there's been no misunderstanding." he smiled, "None. at. all."

He bent her over the table.

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 **A/N: Oh dear. I think Severus Snape just turned up the heat. XD and i'm supposed to be a sirius black fan. oops. sirius may get angry about both hermione and moi cheating on him with his sworn enemy! :-)**


	12. Snape 12

**Part 3:** **The Darkside of Occlumency**

He bent her over the table and whispered, "I'm going to be your private dancer for the next while Miss Granger, I know how you've fantasized about me."

Hermione's throat closed in on itself. Oh fuck, he knew?

She was actually glad he had pushed her against the table so that she didn't have to look him in the face and confirm the truth of his searing hot words. Her face was a vivacious shade of red.

His voice became even darker and deeper in her ear, "I've had to put up with you fawning over me with those damn brown eyes of yours for years, knowing I could read your thoughts and having to see the same erotic fantasies you had replay in my head..."

Hermione positively shivered.

"...Do you know what kind of torture that is for a man?"

He pressed against her and she felt the proof of his 'torture' straining for freedom against its leather pouch.

She breathed heavily. Everything had been thrown to the wind in the last minute.

"I didn't know that you knew."

"No but you knew I was an occlumens and your professor so I could not act upon it...still you continued to titillate me by thinking those thoughts while you were in my classroom and staring. right. at. me."

Oh she was guilty. She had been a most shameless student in her crushes. But rather than feel remorseful, Hermione felt titillated now. Nearly to the breaking point.

She whispered back. "So what is this, vengeance? You know I'm getting married tomorrow Professor," she added to goad him.

He laughed. "Yes about that, that was the final insult. Just as the war ended and I was no longer your professor, you had to throw yourself upon Weasley before I could even have a chance to make a move on you."

Hermione gulped. She really had rushed into her relationship with Ron, they'd announced their

engagement soon after the final battle, leaving no room for would-be admirers. If she had known

Snape had his sights on her, she would never have gone to Ron. Yet she never imagined she'd have a chance with Snape. She could hardly be the first to have a schoolgirl crush on the maddeningly dark potions master.

Except that he'd just revealed that he had reciprocated her secret obsession all along. The truth made her whole body wet.

"So what is it that you propose?" she said achingly.

His hand rubbed against her back. "I think you know how this ends, Hermione. We've both seen it all in your mind."

Hermione shuddered, though she never felt more glad that she had a dirty mind.

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 **Thanks to amerina redwood, marianna79, minniemouse,** **LK-HoGwArTs-hEaDgIrL** **and whitewolfie3000 for reviewing!**


	13. Snape 13

**.**

 **SNAPE PART 4**

A/n: I'm really not sure what happened to this story! When I wrote the first chapter of Death Eater Dancers it was supposed to be a serious story with a *bit* of humour, but each chapter has been getting sillier...though I'm still honestly struggling to find a logical explanation for why Snape would be in a thong? in a strip club? Can anybody figure that out? I cant!

Anyways thanks to vitaeli varishta, skuldvampteeth, vampirela69, marianna79, whitewolfie3000, amerenima redwood and minniemouse for reviewing! thanks guys! :)

* * *

His hand rubbed against her back. "I think you how know this ends, Hermione. We've both seen it in your head."

Hermione shuddered. She could still feel her former professor pressing against, closing in on her like a second skin. Though they were both clothed. Well Snape not so much, if you counted that tiny strip of leather between his legs as clothing. The thought made her dizzy.

"W-hat," she breathed heavily almost afraid of the answer, "exactly do have you in mind?"

He chuckled and she stifled a moan as he tauntingly grabbed hold of hips. Hermione had to breathe very hard in and out to prevent herself from arching backwards into him.

"Haven't you been paying attention?" he goaded as he sank his fingers deeper into the curvy flesh of her hips and pressed her still closer.

Hermione bit her lip to keep herself from buckling against him.

"You'll forgive me Professor-"

 _"Severus."_

"Severus," she winced and bit her lip again, embarrassed by her mistake, "But I, I've found it, difficult to concentrate. Under the circumstances."

Oh dear. That must've been the wrong thing to say.

She could practically taste the sarcasm in his voice. "Oh yes?" he muttered, "Well then I should refresh your memory a little? Hmm?"

His voice was so deep and deliciously timbre, that she knew something was off.

"Allow me."

He flipped her around so that they were eye to eye. Then without a word more, his dark eyes blinked and he entered her mind.

Hermione felt helpless as he intrusively ran through her memories like a pick-pocket looking for his particular prize.

Finally he found it. And she squirmed helplessly as he uncovered it from her unconscious.

The memory was one of the fantasies she had of him when she was a sixth year student in his class. One of the more recurring fantasy she had as she sat during her potions lesson, boredly scrawling some notes because she was always the first one to finish brewing, so that she could stare at the brooding potions master...and day dream.

And dear god. What an abominable dirty mind she had at that age!

Snape released her from occlumency and Hermione looked up in horror at him.

There were practically tears in her eyes and her ears were burning.

"You saw that?"

It was obvious he had. Still it was so painfully embarrassing that she needed it to be confirmed.

"Yes Granger," he said slowly, "I saw every livid, squirming detail," he paused to cup her chin, "and now I want to live it."

.

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A/N: OMG what could the fantasy she had of him be? Will he actually relive it with her?! fEEL free to add your suggestions of what it could be because i don't know what is yet...though i have a strong suspicion she may be about to fulfill. her dreams ;)


	14. Snape 14

**A/N: Thank you to LK Hogwarts headgirl, skuldvampteeth, vampirela69, marianna79, whitewolfie3000, amerenima redwood, minniemouse, guest, becca, Harmonyalways for reviewing! Thanks!**

* * *

 **SNAPE PART 5**

Snape released her from occlumency and Hermione looked up in horror at him.

There were practically tears in her ears.

"You saw that?" It was obvious he had. Still it was so painfully embarrassing that she needed it to be confirmed.

"Yes Granger," he said slowly, "I saw every livid. squirming. detail," he paused to cup her chin, "and now I want to live it."

Hermione backed up against the table, unwilling to believe her ears. "You can't possibly want to live, er recreate, _that_?"

He chuckled and his eyes darkened. "Why the bloody hell wouldn't I?"

Hermione stammered. "Surely-surely-you cannot-possibly-want to do _that_!" she practically screeched the last word as if she were disgusted by her own imagination.

Snape stared at her mockingly, making her feel like she was doing very badly on a pop quiz and giving all the wrong answers.

He stepped towards her and enjoyed the way her eyes widened in panic.

"Can't I Miss Granger?" he lisped and edged towards her, "Or are you so insufferably arrogant that you now deign yourself capable of assessing what I do in my spare time?" He narrowed his eyes.

Hermione's gob shut closed then opened again. Shocked that he was turning this into an argument and making her feel like she should be the embarrassed one.

"Sorry I didn't mean to imply that you shouldn't..uhm..in your spare time..." she paused to stare up at him as he watched her eat her own words, "I just was not expecting it. Not in a million years!"

His black eyes glinted maliciously.

"And what were you expecting, Miss Granger, that I do in my spare time? Knit sweaters? Bake cakes? Organize church fundraisers?"

She flushed at his droll sarcasm.

"I-I really do not know," she stammered in panic, "but certainly not this!"

His lips pulled into a smug smirk.

"Is it really so hard to imagine that, a single potions master and former war spy, might need a little..." he paused to watch her squirm," distraction and"..paused again to stare tauntingly at her, "danger in his life?"

Hermione raised her eyebrows.

He placed his hands on either side of her and leaned forward. His lips were mere inches from her own and her palms were sweating because she felt he might...

He drew back an inch to laugh at her shocked face, "Or did you really think all Hogwarts professors are celibate because they cannot breach professional complicity by getting involved with a student?" His hand raised to rub at her bottom lip before leaning in towards her suggestively. Hermione practically choked on the air she was so nervous, and wound up with anticipation.

"Because I assure you Miss Granger," he drawled silkily and caressed her neck with his large hands, "now that you're no longer my student, you'll find I am a _hot_ blooded man when I'm out of Hogwarts."

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A/N: Feel free to make requests...Thanks!


	15. Snape 15

**A/N: Thanks to** **whitewolfie3000,** **Anamerina Redwood, Marianna79, Becca and guest for reviewing! Thanks this chapter is for you, sorry about the delay.** **Also want to say the next Death Eater after Snape will be Antonin Dolohov! I've been reading the Antonin fanfic by canimal and totally love that guy now! Also had no idea the actor who plays Antonin was so cute ;)**

~/~

"And what were you expecting, Miss Granger, that I do in my spare time? Knit sweaters? Bake cakes?"

She flushed at his droll sarcasm.

"I-I really do not know," she stammered. "but certainly not this!" she pointed at his choice of underpants. Leather for merlin's sake! He was stark naked in just leather underpants!

"You're quite the hypocrite," he drawled, "You harbour the most depraved, deliciously dark fantasies of me yet you seem to think that I can't reciprocate them." he trailed his hand up her thigh and paused to smirk at her shocked expression, "But I assure you Miss Granger, I'm a hot blooded man when I'm out of Hogwarts."

Hermione's gob opened and closed in shock. Did the potions master of Hogwarts, a man known for being insufferable and no-fun, really just admit he was hot blooded? Oh god this was getting better and better! Or worse and worse.

She swallowed very hard.

"I-I'm sorry I will never misjudge you again," Or anyone else for that matter. As long as she lived. For she had so misjudged him.

"Good. I see we've come to better terms," he drawled snarkily, "Now if you don't mind, I think I had better get to the next part."

"Right." She bit her lip.

Snape smiled at her in a dashing way that made her heartbeat flutter all over the place. "Now remind me again how the first part began?"

Hermione blushed. She couldn't believe she was having this conversation with Snape! And he was actually quizzing her on the details of her own fantasy. Never never never would she have expected this to come true. But she looked up at him and grinned. Because this time, she knew the correct answer.

"Well, _Professor_ Snape," she smirked mischievously and his dark eyes blackened with obvious lust at the formal address, "correct me if I'm wrong but in the first part you're fully dressed."

He chuckled darkly. "And I would've thought you'd raise some objection to that."

Hermione shook her head. "Not at all." she hesitated to look down longingly one last time at his leather pouch, "Actually it will make it more fun when you take it all off again."

"Very well." He smirked and waved his wand so that he stood dressed in his full flowing black robes and cape again.

Hermione shivered at the sight of him fully dressed again. Somehow it was more titillating now knowing what hid beneath the heavy black robes. He looked powerful.

Snape arched a brow at her. "Do you want me to put back the mask on too?"

Hermione shook her head. "No," she hesitated to give him a small smile, "I've always thought of you more as a professor and spy, than a Death Eater."

"How good. I also happen to think of myself that way." he paused to flex his arm, "But I'd prefer you think of me as a man first."

All her blood pooled to the surface of her skin as he said that.

Oh god.

This was really happening wasn't it?

She felt nervous all at once, remembering his words 'I'm a hot blooded man'. He wasn't going to back out of this was he. Could she really handle this?

Suddenly she felt Snape's hands around her shoulders.

"Granger, are you listening to me?"

She nodded her head feebly. "I'm sorry, I just-" she stared up at his coal black eyes uncertainly, "I just-" but he'd already read her mind and knew what her main concern was.

"I'll be gentle on you."

Hermione felt herself still, almost relax into his words.

She knew right then that he meant it, he wouldn't hurt her.

No matter how depraved her fantasy was, they would re-enact her fantasy but they would be careful.

"It's alright Hermione, I won't hurt you."

He trailed the hair away from her neck, "I promise."

She shivered.

.

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	16. Snape Professor of Tango

**Sorry its been way too long and lots of craziness happened. Including nov 13 and AR dieing. If you loved Alan Rickman, I wrote a tribute to him called "the five people snape meets in heaven" which you might like :-)**

 **This chapter has some ballroom dancing in it so hope you can handle it!**  
 **Trigger warnings: flamingos, inneundo, 'it takes two to tango', tacky ballroom costumes, ballroom competition, champagne, oh and Severus Snape Professor of Tango!**

 **Also to be clear: this chapter doesn't really continue where we last left off, but it stands on its own as a complete little story about dancing and love. I WILL continue where ch 15 left off, but considering he died, I don't know how appropiate it is to write a scene where he is strip dancing lol! anywys sorry about that.**

* * *

 **~Teasing Tango~**

* * *

"I've missed you." He wrapped his arms around her from the back, his hands clasped over her thin waist.

She nestled back unto his neck. luxuriating in his touch. of having his arms around her again.

"I'm not sure how I left it off this long," she whispered guiltily.

"I could forgive you, you know," he murmured against her throat, " _If_ you had a good excuse."

Hermione smirked and the bushy honeybrown curls of her head tumbled forward as she shook her head. "No there's no excuse, Severus. I have none and I admit to no excuses. I should never have left it off this long."

He laughed and his deep voice rumbled against her throat. "Life can get the better of you sometimes, my dear. Don't take it personally."

"Touche."

She swirled around to face him and this time she clasped her hands around his neck, looking up at him with adoring melting chocolate eyes. "You don't know how long I've waited for this. How I've dreamt of it every night."

"Every night?" his brows knit together with interest.

"Every night." she smirked. "Every day too, sometimes." she blushed.

Severus grabbed her hand and held it in one of his own, tracing her silky palm with his thumb. "That's quite a lot," he mouthed and lowered his lips to plant a kiss on her pretty hand. "You've been busy."

She smiled unashamedly. "Well they do say it takes a lot of practise."

"Mmmm," he murmured and bent down to inhale the clean delicate scent of her hair. "How much practise?" he asked languidly, his eyes half closed.

"Enough," she teased. Her heartbeat fluttering in her chest.

"That confident?" he raised his brows and slid a hand up her thigh.

She broke into fits of giggles. "I think we're ready to do it in public."

"Now that." he whispered and lowered his lips to her neck. "Is taking." he kissed her pulse point in a way that made her groan. "things" she threw her head back, she ached so much for his touch, "a bit too far" he smirked "isn't it?"

"Severus." she groaned and had to stop herself from shaking too hard and grinding against him, "stop teasing me."

He laughed heartily. "Oh my dear, I've just started." He wrapped his arm around her waist and raised her clasped hand in his own. "It takes two to tango."

"And I wouldn't have it any other way," Hermione smirked and took out a red rose from her bosom and placed it between her teeth.

Severus stared down at her with mad lust and passion in his dark eyes.

"You know it takes a lot of passion to dance the tango properly, Miss Granger. Do you think you've done enough growing up lately to know the true passions of the heart?"

Hermione smirked. She knew Severus was teasing her and right before a performance. He was the perfect ballroom partner in every way. Dark eyes. Dark passions. Brooding dark moods and instinctual rigorous self control. Plus a taste of Argentinian blood, from his mother's side.

Hermione removed the rose from her mouth so she could speak again.

"Severus I think _you_ are the one who taught me all about passions of the heart."

He smirked. "Shall we then?"

The curtains fell open.

And all eyes were on the stage where Hermione Granger, in her shimmering red dress, and Severus in his black tightly fitting, sparkly silver suit, stood hand in hand. Poised to start dancing.

The audience fell into a low hush as they caught sight of how Hermione looked. She was mesmerizing and no man could keep his eyes off her. While Hermione had her eyes on only one man: her dancing partner. Her skin tight red dress and wildly curled and messy hair and red painted lips was all for HIM.

The tango music, heavy with the sound of violins, started to play.

The audience erupted in wild cheers as they both began stomping their feet and Hermione moved around Severus in a circle while their eyes were locked together. The red rose in her mouth and the beady ends of her red dress twirling wildly around her with each step of the rhythm.

Severus yanked her back towards him by the arm and spun her in a mad circle. His hands clasped over her thighs as she spun like a ballerina above them both, her arms outstretched.

The audience had never seen two people dance so beautifully together. It was as if the two moved as one body...in perfect passionate harmony.

Whistles and cat calls broke out as Hermione removed the rose from her mouth and threw it into the crowd.

Severus grinned. "Let's paint the town red."

She growled in his ear. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"When I count to three, I'm going to throw you in the air." His hand slipped down low over thigh and clasped her to him.

She pecked him on the cheek. "I trust you."

That was all he needed to hear.

He used his back strength, and a magic spell they worked on, to throw her up in the air.

The audience gasped in amazement as for a moment Hermione twirled 360 degrees in the air while sparklers and enchanted fireworks flew out of her dress.

With a triumphant grin she fell back down into his waiting arms and he caught her as if she weighed nothing.

The crowd went wild. and they danced a few more steps. spining around the stage in a vibrant swirl of her red dress and his suit.

Finally Severus spun her around one last time before bending her low over his knee and kissing her madly. Her bright painted lips left smudges all over his handsome cheeks.

The crowd whistled and gave them a standing ovation.

They finished their dance with a bow to the crowd and then ran off the stage as they were pelted by boquets of roses and flamingos (apparently Xenophilius Lovegood was in the crowd and thought it was alright to throw flamingos instead of flowers at the stage).

"That was exhilarating!" Hermione gasped, her voice coming out in excited half drawn gasps for she was still very out of breathe.

Severus dabbed at his brow with a handkerchief and paused to admire the view of her substantial bosom in her low cut dress.

"Don't get too excited. That was just the beginning," he smirked handsomely, "when I said I wanted to see you panting and exhausted in my arms, it was _not_ from dancing."

Hermione pretended to be immune to his charms. "Oh it wasn't?" she played dumb and bit her bottom lip between her teeth, "Now I can't really imagine what _else_ might get me panting and exhausted in your arms."

He pressed himself more closely to her and something thick and hard pressed into her backside.

"Think harder," he said.

She moaned and her the wiring in her brain malfunctioned a bit, like she was short circuiting and overheating...in all the right places. She ached for his touch and threw her head back.

"No ideas?" he teased and lifted a swathe of her hair from her neck so that he could press kisses down the back of her neck and back.

"Hmmm. None." she stretched languidly against his taut hard body.

"Well in that case," he played with the zipper at the back of her dress, "I had a more private sort of dancing in mind."

"You'll have to teach me," she grinned.

"Haven't I always?" he raised a brow.

"Yes." she licked her lips. "and you're the best instructor I've ever had." she lowered her voice to a whisper. "and not for dancing."

One of the judges came running up towards them. "Miss and Professor Snape! You've just won the competition! The judges all gave you 9 out of 10 for your dance!"

Hermione smiled seductively at the young judge. "That low? When the Professor of Tango and I dance alone," she traced a hand along Severus's thigh and the young judge looked like he just found out how babies are made, "I'm always sure to give him 10 out of 10."

The judge's eyes popped. "O-kay then Miss." he coughed, "Uhm, there is a prize too, you've won, er, if you'd like to collect it."

Severus rolled his eyes at the blathering ruddy nosed red cheeked young judge. "Tell Ron the shoddy tangoist and his dance partner Lavender in second place, that they can keep the sodding prize," he placed a protective arm around Hermione, the most beautiful woman in a red dress, "I've got all the prize I need here."

~Fin.~

 ** _Bonus scene:_**

 **Later at the hotel...celebrating their victory**

Severus opened a bottle of champagne and enjoyed the sight of all the bubbles spurting out of the wine glass.

"Oh Severus!" Hermione groaned. "You're spilling it all over the place. You naughty professor of tango."

Severus placed the glass on the table and swindled his way towards her.

"What did you just call me?"

"Ehmm...a naughty professor of tango?"

"That." he said and lifted her leg behind his shoulder. "Isn't playing fair." he bit the inside of her thigh. "You know how the word 'professor' gets me going."

"Oh yes." she pouted. "I know. It's why I refuse to call you anything else. Though I haven't been your student for technically more than five years."

"You were always my best student though. The brightest dancer of your age." he teased.

"Severus," she said and laid a hand on his shoulder. "I much prefer being your partner."

"Dance partner or sexual partner?"

Hermione threw her head back in giddy rolls of laughter. "How about both?"

"Greedy thing." he said and pulled himself up.

She whispered in his ear. "I expect an 12 out of 10 performance tonight."

"Greedy greedy greedy."

"No, Sev. It's the secret of the tango." she licked his ear. "Passion."

Now that was true. Severus Snape, Argentinian blooded though he was, he had never loved a woman so passionately and it showed in his dancing.

Tango, the most passionate of all dances!

~FIN~

Extra bonus bonus scene:

They were in the midst of passionate love making and Snape was pounding her into the bed when she saw suddenly started squawking. like a bird.

"My love I know I make you passionate but why are you starting to sound like a bird?"

"What? I'm not. I thought it was you making that sound!"

"No." snape said.

and they suddenly both screamed as they saw that one of Xenophiluius Lovegood's flamingo bouqets had jumped out of the roses and into their bed.

Passion indeed.

.

Well I hope this made someone laugh. Please review and let me know what u thought!

and they suddenl


	17. Cat Nap Surprise!

**Random drabble. Surprise pairing.**

* * *

 **~Cat Nap~**

It happened one day in the library. Snape was sitting studiously examining some papers on the latest advancements in potions and apothecary studies. He had a sneer on his face as he turned the dry pages of Potions Daily and Apothecary Journal with one of his long pale digits.

His coal black eyes were fixed on a headline about advancements in brewing of the Perpleumix potion when it happened...

Suddenly there was a loud hissing sound and then a cat jumped into his lap.

The cat had large green lantern eyes.

"What in tarnation...is a cat doing in the library?" he thought and looked around in perplexity, wondering why Madame Pince had not noticed the cat and done something about it.

"You have some nerve," he told the cat sitting on his lap and he did his best to sneer at it.

"Definitely, a nerve," he said as the fearless cat that dared jump in his lap began to purr loudly.

Yet, for some odd reason, perhaps because the cat was warm...and somewhat fluffy and cuddly to the touch...he decided not to kick it off. Instead, assuming all the air and dignity of a professor NOT sitting with a cat on his lap, he went back to reading his potions journals...and soon forgot the cat was there. Absent mindedly he even stroked it a few times as he read the papers and got more and more lost in potions formulaes and new ingredients being sourced in the Amazon.

It was only as he beginning to leave the library and he looked down at his black robes covered in cat hairs that he grimaced.

"You really have some nerve, you feline minx."

The cat, if it were possible, smirked at him. And then too quickly for him to adjust and not be mind fucked by the whole experience, a very happy and pleased Minerva McGonagall sat in his lap. She languidly stretched out her limbs and smiled at him before she lifted herself off his lap.

"It was nice seeing you Professor, I'm sorry I napped on you but I just had such a stressful day with the Gryffindors and..." She paused to wink at him. "Your lap looked so soft and inviting, that I couldn't help myself. I hope you don't mind, Severus." She smiled cat-like at him before sauntering off and leaving him speechless.

Snape felt stone cold shock and had still not recovered. His jaw languished somewhere on the floor.

Did - did McGonagall just flirt with him?

He buried his face in his hands.

'Oh bugger it all,' he thought. 'Why do I have to such sexual catnip to all the women?'

He just couldn't have one day without being sexually harassed or flirted with by one of those witchy female teachers and their wily ways could he?!

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a/n- I need to practise writing prompts for the Quidditch League competition, so if you're reading this and want me to write a crack pairing or dancing or anything absurd that pops in your mind, let me know in the box below and I will give myself exactly 24 hours or less to write it! thanks :)


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